I know you’re leaving anyway!

I’d rather stand still and wait
To see if you’d turn back
Making myself think of the things I used to lack
Than to call out your name
And watch you leave
Because I know you’re leaving anyway
I don’t know if we’ll have an alumnae
You blame the circumstances forcing you into it
And I blame my heart for choosing you over every heartbeat
Night after night, I’m getting stronger
I now know nothing’s gonna happen any after
It ain’t the first time I’ve lost you once again
All that has changed is the mass of pain
Maybe I’ve made my choices
And I know they won’t be changed by circumstances
So much silence like never before
Again I find it something about you to adore
I’ve turned infinite ‘last times’ to ‘second last times’
Waiting for stability to hang on my door frame like chimes

Because I know you’re leaving anyway

I don’t know if we’ll have an alumnae

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I Hate Love

I’ve seen mirror at midnight
With drooping dry eyes
Not a single drop falling
Waiting for the last seen to turn to online and eventually typing
Dream remained in it’s place with nothing to yield
I wonder how I spent those nights
Just reading those texts over and over again when all they said was ‘It’s over’
My heart never sank to the bottom like it did at the first time
The intensity decreased with nights and it turned out to be a habit
Eyes were less sleepy, more dry with least hope
It was a decision to leave than to hold on
Love defined itself making me fall into hate
Now it’s easier to walk past some non-existing human

If you can’t define hate, certainly love never defined itself to you!

Nights with you😍

Since the very first day we’ve been knowing each other, we would talk all day and the conversation would last a little lesser than the complete night.

I remember how we would wish a good morning at 4 and would sleep in peace then.

It wasn’t the first time I would stay awake. The last four months were terrible. I’ve had a breakup and would lay sleepless for hours drenching my pillow with my own tears. But then I met you and the stars fell perfect… So perfect that the perfection seemed less beneath our love.

It’s the moonlight that drenches the soul at midnight

Sooner you started sleeping early leaving me with no conversation and I would never had a problem with that. Why would I? Afterall, I tried understanding you. But I would still fall asleep smiling for no reason remembering those days when we would get into this relationship and you would love me. 

No lesser in time you forgot to text me a good night even and I would spend nights writing long paragraphs for you and would wait for a smile on your face and a thank you notice but there were none. A reaction of dissatisfaction and ignorance would lay all over your face.

You then told me you’ve had a flight the following week and I would spend nights wondering if you would miss me in the other country or would that be me still? There were no hopes, no more smiles and probably no more notes for you. By then I got to understand you even better and had realised that whatever​ I do is so discouraged by you.

The next morning you’ve had a flight and I decided not to sleep. Waking up each night was never this difficult as long as it was needed. I would count out on the clock and would wait for it to say 3:00 am because you had mentioned you would be waking up that early. I had called you nearly 30 times and all those calls went unattended. It was an hour by then and I was focused to say a good bye to you. You then texted me that you’ve left and there are people with you and that too we can’t talk for the time you are out.

I never wished loosing any opportunity to tell you that I loved you but it never reached you. My fault!

Even last night I didn’t sleep and I was wondering if it would be same with you for me the I’ve had for you when you were going?

And the answer was a ‘no’!

Imperfection is a boon

No one is perfect since perfection is a myth as I say. But the irony is people seem to believe the myths more than reality. Here imperfection plays it’s role. It’s real and it helps you get to the right person. Obviously everyone wants perfection and rare go for the less perfect and make it perfect. Perfect for themselves not the world actually. So now you know how it’s easy and wonderful to know that you ain’t perfect and there’s someone who cares about you knowing all of your demerits. People might long for you and die for you for the way you fake your perfection. But try being real and they would all leave and everyone would give you a wonderful reason. Whereas when you are yourself, i.e. less perfect, only few will try to turn to you and feel you. Trust me, those few people are wonderful. And for the shocking part, let me tell you that the right one might fall for your imperfections only.
So… It took about a couple of weeks for me to get back to my blog again. Actually, time isn’t what you need but an idea. Like today, my mother said “You are good at everything but you would be perfect if you were little more tall” and I immediately replied, “don’t you think a lot many wrong people would have approached me for that?

She fell silent, smiled and said— 

Imperfection is a boon for those who understand!

The Guy I Dream Of

Almost every relationship comes with some expectations that grow with time and not every time it’s wrong to expect. A little bit of daily conversation and small piece of care isn’t too much to expect. Is it? Nah!!!!! But some people can’t even afford making you smile once throughout the day. Whoa! So true right? And then it’s clear the relationship would not work out but it’s human nature to be dependent on others and they need someone with them everytime. Trying harder and harder and even harder to keep it all in a line, we all loose ourselves but who said loving with a broken heart is prohibited? It needs love to be repaired and here it goes, search for someone else moreover the better one. Learning from the past what is not needed and a list is being created. Mine goes this way…

That One Imaginary Figure—

  • A Reader: Obviously I need a reader. Afterall, the one who isn’t interested in my words would probably not be interested in me since that’s all I’ve. My words!
  • Good Looking: I don’t have the concept of ‘looks don’t matter’. They do like too much. How would you not like someone who looks good?
  • Appreciation: Be it a girl or a boy, who doesn’t like to be appreciated? Everyone does and everyone got some unique qualities. All we need is a right person to appreciate them and make us feel wonderful.
  • Surprises: Well, there’s something too much imaginary. Yes, it’s an imaginary part and I would wait to hell to let it happen. Sometimes I wonder if the one I’m committed to would call me and ask me to peek out of the window at midnight just because he was missing me and he just needs to see me once. I would love him to long for me and some more such insane stuff sometimes. 
  • A Healthy Conversation: What effects a relationship the most is how easily do you understand them or how hard you try to understand them. Keep the conversations short and real. And that’s all what I need. Someone to listen to my side and probably let me know where do I lack. It would be wonderful knowing each other inch—by—inch. Won’t it be?
  • Sharing Everything: Everyone got their secrets that you never want to share with anyone. But what I want is, the person shouldn’t have anything that had been told to atleast one person and not me. Sharing the problems wouldn’t make them easy, but I would know that he isn’t faking a reason and is stuck in a serious trouble. I got trust issues!
  • Love: For me it lies at the end of my list. Maybe I’ve seen too​ many real faces that I don’t want to fall in love at the first place with the wrong person. I would rather know him for all his goods and bads and then let my heart decide! So he needs to love me and keep me among the top 5 of his priorities. Everything will fall perfect with ‘US‘!

    The post is word-to-word imagination. Please do not try to link with real life!

    Difficulties

    Everything isn’t that easy. It is but not that much. Similarly everything isn’t that difficult. It is but not that much. And what counts in the end is not how hard it was, but how hard you tried to achieve it.

    The most easy way to tackle amy problem is— run away.

    Run away from the people who ain’t good, from the friends who ain’t listening to you, from a child who cries and from a relationship where your efforts are needed. It seems easy just because you don’t have to do anything but run. We all have just learnt one thing. RUN. Right?

    But how about facing the poblems? I mean try to improve the humanity. Try to build up friendships. Try to make a child smile. Try to give time to your loved ones. 

    I’m not saying do it. I’m just asking you to try it. Can you not atleast try? 

    Afterall what counts in the end isn’t how difficult it was but how hard you tried. 

    Failures are the pillars of success only if they learn from their mistakes. The only three types of people I’ve ever met are who—

    • Try, fail and quit
    • Try, fail and continue to fail
    • Try, fail, learn and achieve

    That’s life. Everything​ is difficult and everything is easy, it’s just the way you look at it. Try not to run away from problems but solve them.

    Chances​, Choices and Changes!

    Life is a long journey, promising to stay forever is foolishness!

    We all seek for happiness and 90% of people around ain’t happy. True statement. So, does that mean no one will ever be happy or what? Well, first of all— a lot many people might be writing about happiness but the fact is that happiness comes from within. Agree?

    If you are happy, your problems will seem easier and trust me there’s no problem without solution. A peaceful brain and trustworthy heart is all that you need. I mean happiness.

    Try out a new hobby which gives you inner peace. You never know what you are good at and please…

    If you are good at something, Never do it for free if it doesn’t make you happy!

    You might not get time to do what makes you happy, just make sure you ain’t doing what makes you sad.

    I might not be too mature to write this but among the little experience I’ve gained, the two things I concluded are—

    • Nothing is impossible as long as it comes to give life to a dead body.
    • If you wish it, go for it and you’ll achieve it.

    There’s no other rule for life but some at some uncertain situations, you need to be wise. Wise as in you need to take your time because life is all about choices, for every choice you get one chance and for every chance, you deal some changes that are sure to come. Who is responsible for it? You yourself. If the decision is proved right, it’s you and if it’s wrong, even then it’s you. So have peace and try to stay happy. Since, no one else gets paid to make you happy. 

    I won’t say live your life. I would say love your life…

    Something Unexpected!

    People think that being sweet to someone is what attracts them towards you. Well, it is true to some extent but ever thought of falling in love with the one who is the most rude to you. Not rude exactly but the one who isn’t sweet to you. Who never calls you. The one who doesn’t give time to you. And so many reasons that aren’t favourable. Ever thought of falling in love with someone like this?

    Last night, I shared the link to my blog to some of the reader friends and one of them immediately replied—

    ‘Will you never text anything except this link?’

    ‘Did you check out the new post?’

    ‘I don’t want to.’

    ‘Fuck off dude! I’m busy right now.’

    And what he said afterwards was totally unexpected. He told me that he had fallen for me and I couldn’t respond to it. Later on I told him it cannot be happening since we never met, never talked on call and I never text him even. But he was stubborn with the fact that he loves me. It was kinda weird but true. I’ve never been good to him and we used to fight mostly and I would ignore the texts to end the conversation. But this was something that made me hold on. I dig in deep and he said that he knows I would never believe it but the least I can do is to write about this on my blog. So I did.

    The most beautiful feeling is falling in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time!

    That Anklet

    I was​ lying still in my bed and had nothing to do just when my eye was caught by this ‘ANKLET’

    The one I had been wearing for over a couple of months and never bothered to take off. I’m habitual of it. I realised I can spend all day listening to the soothing voice of the single bell that hangs from its end making it look even gorgeous. It complements my foot. Maybe I’m going off topic this time. Something different. Scribbling about an ornament and probably not being a fashion blogger. Hey! I’m writing it because I’m too attatched to this anklet which laid as a scrap in the cupboard for over 3 years. I put it on one day and never bothered ​to take it off. I’m loving it more than I can love any guy. And today I’m writing about my love. Ask me why and I’ll say I don’t know. Seriously love got no reason and today I realised it doesn’t need to be among two living beings too. God! I’m so in love with this.

    P.S.— it’s gifted 

    And people thought I can’t love

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