Chances​, Choices and Changes!

Life is a long journey, promising to stay forever is foolishness!

We all seek for happiness and 90% of people around ain’t happy. True statement. So, does that mean no one will ever be happy or what? Well, first of all— a lot many people might be writing about happiness but the fact is that happiness comes from within. Agree?

If you are happy, your problems will seem easier and trust me there’s no problem without solution. A peaceful brain and trustworthy heart is all that you need. I mean happiness.

Try out a new hobby which gives you inner peace. You never know what you are good at and please…

If you are good at something, Never do it for free if it doesn’t make you happy!

You might not get time to do what makes you happy, just make sure you ain’t doing what makes you sad.

I might not be too mature to write this but among the little experience I’ve gained, the two things I concluded are—

  • Nothing is impossible as long as it comes to give life to a dead body.
  • If you wish it, go for it and you’ll achieve it.

There’s no other rule for life but some at some uncertain situations, you need to be wise. Wise as in you need to take your time because life is all about choices, for every choice you get one chance and for every chance, you deal some changes that are sure to come. Who is responsible for it? You yourself. If the decision is proved right, it’s you and if it’s wrong, even then it’s you. So have peace and try to stay happy. Since, no one else gets paid to make you happy. 

I won’t say live your life. I would say love your life…

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Something Unexpected!

People think that being sweet to someone is what attracts them towards you. Well, it is true to some extent but ever thought of falling in love with the one who is the most rude to you. Not rude exactly but the one who isn’t sweet to you. Who never calls you. The one who doesn’t give time to you. And so many reasons that aren’t favourable. Ever thought of falling in love with someone like this?

Last night, I shared the link to my blog to some of the reader friends and one of them immediately replied—

‘Will you never text anything except this link?’

‘Did you check out the new post?’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘Fuck off dude! I’m busy right now.’

And what he said afterwards was totally unexpected. He told me that he had fallen for me and I couldn’t respond to it. Later on I told him it cannot be happening since we never met, never talked on call and I never text him even. But he was stubborn with the fact that he loves me. It was kinda weird but true. I’ve never been good to him and we used to fight mostly and I would ignore the texts to end the conversation. But this was something that made me hold on. I dig in deep and he said that he knows I would never believe it but the least I can do is to write about this on my blog. So I did.

The most beautiful feeling is falling in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time!

The Stranger I Just Saw TWICE

People come into your life when you are least expecting them to!

About 5 years back I had been to attend a wedding. The celebration was not about one night but a day as well including the tiring journey. As soon as we reached the place, we all went in to searching for our respective rooms.

‘Excuse me? Can you please tell me where this room number 27 is?’ A guy asked me suddenly. But no, he isn’t the stranger in this post. It’s his friend who was busy in his own life and I didn’t notice it then. Soon after I directed them to the room(since I just passed the room a while ago while searching for mine) and I saw them both walking away. And I realised I was stuck there like a portrait staring at the stranger guy who never even looked at me once. Maybe chatting with his girlfriend? I didn’t bother much for that moment and went in my own room afterall, I needed to look good at the ceremony. I seek for attention too much.

About 3 more hours of sleep and everyone was wandering around asking each other for help for make-up and dress-up. I don’t get these people. If they don’t even know anything, how would they do it at their own personal functions? I mean when everyone else’s helping hand isn’t around? Whatever, I am good at just two things— make-up and travelling! So wasn’t difficult for me to get ready within an hour. I put on my white gown that I had bought specially for the occasion and it suited me so well that everyone was forced to complement me. But my heart was seeking for his compliment and eyes for his glance. God! No way… This cannot be happening. I mean I wasn’t oblivious of it. But that was it. Somewhere among the crowd of people dancing, I got a glance of him. He looked cute wearing that green sweater that looked amazing and a black and dark green jacket on that with black jeans and sneakers. I had almost died the way he got dressed up. Whoa! It reminded me of the saying—

“Thousands might love a girl, she would fall for the one who doesn’t even notice her.”

And I was fine with it. By the time everything got over, all went to sleep and we left the place. Ghosh! The love story ended before it was supposed to start. I wasn’t bothered though. It was difficult but I knew it wasn’t love that is a different thing that I actually never fall for anyone else but him when I saw him the next time. Yes next time!

This December, I had been to another wedding. Everything was just same excluding the place and people. But he was there as well. I was getting some vibes that I’m going to meet my so called lost love and yes, I was correct. There he was dressed up all in black suit with a red tie and formal shoes. This time I had put on a blue fishcut shaped lahenga that looked amazing. I can conclude now that I was the second one who got most attention followed by the bride. And among the ‘most’ one was his. And I was happy to see that. It was a family function and we couldn’t stare at each other. No one was oblivious of each other’s feelings and were both hesitating to talk. Sometimes we would go close and sometimes too far but nothing could let us not see each other. I tried to initiate a conversation but his friend called him immediately and when he did the same, my mother called me and no conversation again. Not even a single ‘Hello’. And again it ended maybe for now or maybe forever. It just ended without exchanging a word. I longed to tell him that I had waited to see him again for over 5 years. I longed to ask out his name. I longed to know him. I longed to love him. But it ended. The wedding ceremony was over and we were all supposed to move back to our relative daily lives.

It cannot be just attraction. It is love. I still wait for the moment I would be able to tell him that. He might be loving someone else but I want to tell him that I only love him.

It’s weird how people don’t even talk to you and you get attracted towards them. For no reason probably. What would you call this feeling? That’s not for a moment but 5 years? I feel sorry for myself for not having a conversation. At least we could have exchanged numbers or so.

Mine is some kind of a Cinderella type story. Just the Cinderella didn’t left the shoe and is searching for her prince. But wait! Here, no clues. She can just wait for another glance and it might take years. But I’m ready to wait…

How to make one feel guilty?

Just sometimes, when your heart gets​ broken or something not particularly a relationship but it can be a friendship too. It’s sure that it has to be among two or more people and one of them is always right. That one is who gets hurt. So, when you get over the disaster of fighting the fears of being living without someone particular and you know you are right and what they did was too wrong to be done, you need to make them realise it. Don’t you? It would be better to have faith in the word ‘KARMA’ but what if you ain’t a karma believer? You will do it yourself. You will  want that person to feel what he/she lost and should be sorry right? I mean let’s just talk about me… If it comes to me realising my mistake, I make the best of my efforts for the sorry. Maybe coz I’m a writer?

Well, that’s a dilemma—how to make one feel guilty when they already know what they did and are totally happy? 

Some prefer being sad in front of them and pretending they ain’t happy and gay like before. They just pretend because moving on was already done. And it doesn’t bother the other one. Or does it? I think that doesn’t make any difference. What makes a difference is… The person needs to realise your true potential and your real being. They need to know you are far better now and doing something wrong with you wasn’t a good choice. Then they need to know that— without you, they are leading a life less than they deserve. And that’s the thing. Nothing but this can lead one to regrets. Even though smile is something which lightens the heaviness of problems over your head and that kills some of the people like the ones you want to feel guilty and regret. Try to be the best of you. Try out some of your hobbies or try finding some new. So the least you can do for now and forever is just smile. Afterall the government won’t charge any tax from you. And even if it is so, then we are Indians. If you know what I mean?

Good luck peeps!

That Anklet

I was​ lying still in my bed and had nothing to do just when my eye was caught by this ‘ANKLET’

The one I had been wearing for over a couple of months and never bothered to take off. I’m habitual of it. I realised I can spend all day listening to the soothing voice of the single bell that hangs from its end making it look even gorgeous. It complements my foot. Maybe I’m going off topic this time. Something different. Scribbling about an ornament and probably not being a fashion blogger. Hey! I’m writing it because I’m too attatched to this anklet which laid as a scrap in the cupboard for over 3 years. I put it on one day and never bothered ​to take it off. I’m loving it more than I can love any guy. And today I’m writing about my love. Ask me why and I’ll say I don’t know. Seriously love got no reason and today I realised it doesn’t need to be among two living beings too. God! I’m so in love with this.

P.S.— it’s gifted 

And people thought I can’t love

Unsaid Epiphany

What do you do when you accidentally dial your ex’s number and then you cannot tell them it was by mistake afterall you know what they will prefume it as right? They won’t believe it was a mistake and would take it as a sign of a hook-up probably. Moreover you cannot continue to talk because in a moment or other they would ask you the questions that you will never wish to answer. Yes those questions that don’t got an answer and here you are struck!

‘Hey! I wasn’t expecting your call. I mean… I… Er… How are you?’

‘Hello! I’m good! How about you?’

‘I’m good too. And how is everything else? How is life treating you?’

‘Well enough to let me long to live more.’

‘Sounds great.’

‘Yeah! How’s life treating you?’

‘Like life!’

‘You are clever.’

‘You are happier.’

‘I… Er… Yeah I’m.’

‘Are you? I mean you look so. How happy​ are you with him?’ (Question 1)

‘…’

*Silence*

It’s the moment when you will not speak. Maybe because you don’t want to hurt them or maybe because you ain’t happy. But in both the case you just can’t speak up. Can you? Nops! Fuck… You can’t say a word and they will surely presume something out of it. What next? Hanging up isn’t any good idea. Better chane the topic to continue…

‘Oh God! I completely forgot to congratulate you for the new relationship. She looks pretty though. What’s her name? Shanaya maybe? If am not wrong?’

‘Umm… Shanaya? She’s history babe. It was about a month or so back.:

‘Oh! Sad. Why did you end up?’

‘Why did you?’ (Question 2)

*Fuck* 

That’s all you can say but limit your voice to yourself. Why would he take the topic in between? Can he not have peace with himself. What should I reply to him now? Let’s just face it without actually doing the same.

‘We had a discussion about it already.’

‘Yeah! Well, we ended like we did.’

‘We?’

‘Yeah Shanaya and me ended like you and me for no reason.’

‘Okay!’

‘Hmm…’

‘May I just call you later? I mean… Er… I got to go somewhere.’

‘I know you ain’t going anywhere. You just can’t take it anymore. Face it! You still love me. Don’t you?’ (Question 3) ‘That’s why you called. Right? (Question 4)

*Disconnected*

Because at this point, nothing can change it back and that’s the most you can do. So just pretend no calls were made. Delete the number which you didn’t till now since you needed to tell yourself that you are strong enough to have it before your eyes and never dial. Obviously babe you are, but these accidental calls won’t explain you point of view. And that’s how you once again put someone into expectations and decide never to get back.

Direct me to the Dream world ☄

And I’m forced to write it because someone said— ‘Grow up Archee! Stop posting every fucking thing on social sites. It’s not your dream world. It’s real life!’

Baby, do you even know what’s going on in Archee’s life? Do you even bother to ask me out if everything is going smooth or my life is fucked up all together? No you don’t probably. But today I uploaded a status on Facebook for someone was bothering me and it was an indirect indication to that person to stop. But then it was taken in a wrong way by you and I was scolded about the same for an hour almost…

 

Archee please grow up… It’s not the dream world shit you write about. It’s real life. And a comment on your writings, You write shit. You don’t know anything about writing and you tell people that you are a good writer. Come out of imaginations. Grow up please grow up. I just don’t want to talk to you!


Someone please ask this person if I ever needed his reviews? Yes I want everyone’s interest in my writing but I don’t beg for it. And for the last line, when does it actually happen that you want to talk to me love? (the formality part of daily “good morning” messages is excluded here)

I’m sorry I was not grown up too mature. It’s my fault. I’m sorry I live in my fantasies and I believe in them. I’m sorry I’m unable to cope up with the real world. But you know what love? I tried my best. I tried my level best to survive in this real world and I couldn’t so giving in. Yes I give up now. I give up on these people around who are too good to accept me. I give up on the society who refuse to take anything positively and today I give up on every fucking one who is unable to listen my side of the story and continues to speak the shit off their tongue. I give up on this real world. Someone please direct me to the dream world… 

Please direct me to the magical door which leads to the dream world I fantasize of. The world where no one knows me. The world where no one speaks. Afterall, even in this real world, my words fail to explain myself and everyone else’s hurt. Lead me to the world where it’s just me and no one else. Sounds selfish? Yes I’m. Lead me to that dream world and I promise I would never wish to come back. Never… 

I’m hurt today. Too badly hurt. No, it isn’t what was said. It’s the manner it was being said in. I want to accept the fact that the post was wrong. It was totally a disrespect of the army but unintentionally. I’m sorry for that everyone. I’m extremely sorry. I would never repeat my mistake but never would I ever forget the way I was forced​ to realise it. It’s not just about my relationship, it’s about my self respect. I was wrong but the words weren’t right as well. Protecting someone’s respect doesn’t require violating other’s and if it does let me know. I’ll apologise for it in the next post.

P.S.— I still need to grow up more! And I know I write shit… But it makes me feel good like no one else!

The Conclusions

Hey there!

Too late this time. Sorry for that. So the title isn’t that clear to all right? Let me elaborate the topic of the post. Well, doesn’t it happen with you like whenever you needed someone you found them too busy to even take the calls. They just state the reason and we have to decide to ourselves if they are faking a reason or they really are busy. That’s the conclusion which changes a relationship. Be it among friends, siblings, parents and children or the lovers.

Let’s just not think too much and talk about me. Yesterday, I asked my brother to pick me up from the coaching and he replied with ‘Di, I’m at a party and can’t leave.’ 

Was he actually too busy in partying or was faking a reason. The conclusion had to be mine since he played his part.

So if I think that he was just faking a reason, my behavior towards him would turn to worse abd there would be a gap amongst her. While on the other hand if I try to understand his side or atleast believe him, I would be normal with him and next time he himself would know who is prior. It would save a lot of mental stress right?

Next I called my friend who was out of the city and couldn’t come. Again there was a time of dilemma. Well, it’s not just about a family member that you trust. You have to be equally moderate with all.

Now if I had concluded that he was faking a reason, it would have resulted in a broken friendship. My friend would have thought I couldn’t believe him and I would have thought that I wasn’t important to him. That’s just so cheesy. In this case too, patience works.

Sometimes life throws us into those situations where our solutions are based on our own conclusions. To get through, we must know how it would end on any of our reaction towards the situation and see, it’s easy.

The only thing you need to believe is—

Even a professional lier may be stating a truth to 50%

The Last Call(maybe)

The complete story is in third person!

Tring Tring…

Her heart bounced as she dialled his number. It was almost about three days back when he texted her—

‘Stay happy with your new boyfriend. I’m no more being an obstacle and let me be free. No calls and texts please.’

Since then Avanti couldn’t dare initiating any conversation but waited. Nothing turned out and then she got a chance. The practicals. Yes the practicals. She immediately dialled his number and waited with her fingers crossed for Debashish to pick it up.

‘Hello’

‘Hy Deb!’

‘Debashish it is’

‘Oh! Right. Can you please help me with the lab manuals. I know nothing.’

He faked a laughter and immediately apologized for the same.

Yeah I’ll. Just take out your book and I’ll tell you where to read.’ He said and they started studying over the call.

He was faking the care. Maybe? And she was listening to his voice. Who knows if it would ever come back? Few more minutes and a ‘bye’ was muttered. The call hung up.

Both sat in their beds. The two rooms that laid on the two corners of the city and were too different were equally same now. Dark and covered with silence. Both had thoughts in mind. He was thinking how mean she is to call him just whenever she was in need. Whereas she was still searching for a valid reason to call him again.

No one was too wrong and none was too right as well. Avanti chose to end it for them. And he chose to end it for her was unable to bear the pain.

Sometimes we need to take wrong steps and let it be bad than taking the right steps making it worse.

Contradictions…

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