Day 3 (Lucknow Diaries)

Hey peeps!

Am I late this time? Well, the day was hectic from shopping to the dinner date with my favorite person (Dinesh Uncle).

Sorry for sharing it too late with you people but I had been into a wrong relationship with someone since 16 July 2016 and we ended up too soon like 3 months or such. He made me believe in fairytales and then suddenly turned out to be such an ignorant person that I started finding reasons for myself not being attractive enough. Dude! I cried my heart out and I’m really sorry for it.

EdiItt took over 4 months of mine to realise my potential and that it wasn’t my fault. We weren’t compatible anymore.

What happened day before yesterday was the guy texted me like he still loves me. He never actually mentioned that but indirectly he indicated me towards his feelings.

Trying to flirt maybe?

I pretended not to notice and continued with my plans for the day but soon I realised that I need to talk about this. Everything cannot happen like he wants it to. Can it?

I called him over 100 times in these 2 days and he got back to his own ignorant self.

Completing the sentence

Didn’t bother me enough. But then he picked up the call and said— ‘Why do you keep so much expectations from me? I’m busy. Dare you call me.’

It confused me like do I laugh or shout at him? I mean did I ask you to tell me that I look hotter now? Did I ask you to tell me the reason for helping me? Did I ever called you for nonsense reasons in the last few weeks? Did I ever started a useless conversation?

So here’s a letter to that person—

You know I don’t hate you? I cannot. Afterall you told me that anyone can be fake and how not to trust people. You taught me how to be the worst of me. You taught me how to loose confidence. You taught me how to feel low. You taught me that love doesn’t exist. You taught me that I’m worthless. And so… When I’m over your lessons and I know how to be myself without being dependent on anyone, dude ANYONE, when I gained my confidence, when I’m more attractive than before, when I’m more beautiful than before, when I know how to talk to people, moreover when I’m perfect, you told me you love me? Do you even know what it was? It was like you just killed me and when I somehow got my breath back cause of some mercy shown by the Angel of death, you want to kill me all over again? Sorry I’m not that fool anymore. Have peace with your life now. I’m glad you didn’t let me record to be broken. Which record? The record of my exes regretting their last decision. Though you clearly changed your words lateron but I’m sure everyone reading this knows everything. So no more explanations.

Thanks!

That’s it. Now I’ll be heading to Meerut tomorrow. The daily routine would begin. There would be no more calls and no more messages to that person.

I just want to confess since I’m not egoistic that I felt too strong for that person that when he left, he broke my trust, faith and loyalty all at once. I called it love but I’m sure it wasn’t. Afterall,

If it’s not forever, it’s not love!

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