Problem with Love!

Relations are getting tougher. You either get cheated upon or left alone. Rarely do we find a two people loving each other and putting in efforts to stay with each other without lust and it’s a big question mark on humanity. Have we all lost our humanity that we think of cheating as the easier way than to make it work? Here’s an answer y’all would want to know—

Actually, we all have experienced love. At least once. Remember the last time you loved someone? That person might or might not have loved you back but did you not cross all the limits of self abolition and destruction? You put in all the efforts to make it work. Begging, crying, trying and trying harder became the only thing at some point but all in vain and one day, when you realised that they only wanted to leave or weren’t made for you, you chose to let go. That time, you thought that you only let go of the person but in real, with them, you let go of the feeling of love, trust, faith and efforts. It’s scary to think of even a moiety of it ever again and so you don’t. The relations work smooth until it’s your time to take a tough stand and you think of all the past times and rather, take a step back. But, what you don’t stop is trying to fall in love. See, love is the hit and trial method. If it works out, Bingo! Otherwise you know it was just a trial. Not everyone is the perfection you deserve. If people are losing you, don’t waste time shedding tears and don’t stop putting in efforts if you want love bc there’s no shortcut. You can always choose not to want it anyway.

P.S.— It’s my first post of monsoon 2019 so Happy Monsoon and Happy Blogging 🍁

Finding solutions!

With some people, we don’t have a life long relation. Yet them liking someone really bothers to some extent and I’m still figuring out why or at least some way to stop it.

I have restricted my social circle a lot this year so there are a handful of people I get to speak my heart out and sometimes I just wonder if there’s only one or two. I barely call them or text but whenever I’ve a lot to say, I take out time.

So this happened today. I was talking to this friend of mine telling him about the recent incidents that took place in my life and how I reacted. My most reactions were too cold and I didn’t react sometimes. After my narration, I asked him what he thinks of me(as a person) bc I wanted to know if he’s the right person to talk to so that he doesn’t judge me or not. So he said that I’m good. Learning things and there’s a lot to learn but he said something that I think if I could unhear bc that’s a thing bothering. He said I’m not the type of girl he likes. And there was this uneasiness in the easy going conversation. I wanted to ask why but I knew I wouldn’t change myself for anyone so why did it bother me? I’m not interested in this person as thinking of dating. We’re just casual friends who barely talk and he might or might not be dating someone for all I care. I just did not like the fact that I’m not the type of girl he likes. It’s not just about him. People adore me and end up saying— ‘you’re just not my type’ so I wanna know what is this type thing they all be talkin’ bout? It bothers me why someone walks away and I let it happen and then they come back when I’ve changed or say, upgraded to a better me. Like I wanna ask COULD YOU NOT STAY WITH ME BECAUSE CHANGES ARE INEVITABLE and whatever I’d have changed to, I’d have not been what you didn’t like at least but no! I don’t owe anyone any explanation. I cannot stop judgementals. I cannot make someone like my type and I cannot change myself for anyone. I need to look at the brighter side. My friend sure told me that I’m good and there’s no flaw and that’s what I wanted to know. I needn’t had to pay heed to the but part and that’s what I know I’ll be doing anymore. I get distracted from the points so I’ll be sticking to my question and the only answer that’s to the point. Further, everyone has got things to say like I do so I ought to hear them and that’s all! I think we all need a positive outlook of ourselves and the conversions.

Restart ❤

Everyone got a passion and time time takes it away reasoning business. Is this not what we all go through? Of course, yes! Is it about time? I don’t think so.Things stop. Everything stops. But this is just an illusion and not real. The reality is—it’s not a stop but a pause. Whatever you may feel it is but it is just a pause.

It might stay there for a moment or two or maybe infinitely enough to make it look like a stop. Totally depends upon the person. Depends upon the time that one takes to realise that the pause can be broken and things can be restarted.

You can restart anything, anytime and anywhere but first ask yourself if you really want to. Do you? Is it even that important? Will you make it strong enough to never have a pause ever again? Ask these questions to yourself before you really find out how. Then think of how and it’ll strike you eventually

Restarting something is totally a voice and yes all about how bad do you want it restarted.

With these words, I’d really want to motivate myself to restart what I started 2 years back and speed after 1—POETRY

People used to commend my pretty because it came straight outta my heart back when I had it. Now that I want it back, I don’t know how. I want to write done really soul-melting poetry.

This will need efforts, a lot of it because true poetry cones from feelings and I am lacking all. There’s still a/only way out— focus and hard work!

Writing my next poetry in this. For no one but myself and those who want to smile but need a bad cry.

Things stop. Everything stops. But this is just an illusion and not real. The reality is—it’s not a stop but a pause. Whatever you may feel it is but it is just a pause.

It might stay there for a moment or two or maybe infinitely enough to make it look like a stop. Totally depends upon the person. Depends upon the time that one takes to realise that the pause can be broken and things can be restarted.

You can restart anything, anytime and anywhere but first ask yourself if you really want to. Do you? Is it even that important? Will you make it strong enough to never have a pause ever again? Ask these questions to yourself before you really find out how. Then think of how and it’ll strike you eventually

Restarting something is totally a voice and yes all about how bad do you want it restarted.

With these words, I’d really want to motivate myself to restart what I started 2 years back and speed after 1—POETRY

People used to commend my pretty because it came straight outta my heart back when I had it. Now that I want it back, I don’t know how. I want to write done really soul-melting poetry.

This will need efforts, a lot of it because true poetry cones from feelings and I am lacking all. There’s still a/only way out— focus and hard work!

Writing my next poetry in this. For no one but myself and those who want to smile but need a bad cry.

Hearts of glass

Feelings on fire

Feet on grass

Bonds all sire

Sired to one

With no intervention

Known by none

Yet have some extension ❤

*Just healer things*

Heartaches 💔

How much do you know of heartache?
A bit. Ok! A little more? Cool.
So, the common definition of heartache is when you feel betrayed and lost?
Darling, what’s common isn’t real.
Let me tell you what heartache really is.
It is when you feel like a thunderstorm of emotions inside of you. When your hands do something you don’t know about and your brain is thinking about something else. Heartache is when you refuse to feel it but it’s destroying you. It’s worse than a chronicle disease because diseases may be cured or at least diagnosed but one dealing with heartache turns misandrophist. This is what it feels like. The feeling when you miss the person who left you betrayed and cannot tell them, is heartache. Heartache is when your brain insists you to stop amd remind you of all the dealings you faced all this while and none of them worked. It is when you know what you have to do but can’t because you don’t want to. The best part is, we all know what’s gonna hurt and choose it wisely. We choose heartaches. We choose devils over humans knowing about the precise amount of damage they gonna do. In the name of love… ❤ We loose ourselves.

Make sure the one you love is the last one to know this

💋

Many of you asked me why I wrote this. The post is the answer. Heartache! Our beloved one’s examine their respective powers by hurting us.
I’m not sure if anyone’s gonna really like it but I felt like writing this. There’s no external cure to an internal disease. There’s just one therapy I know of—
ਸਮਾਂ
It’s the last thing to cause you the damage and the only thing to heal it!

I Hate Love

I’ve seen mirror at midnight
With drooping dry eyes
Not a single drop falling
Waiting for the last seen to turn to online and eventually typing
Dream remained in it’s place with nothing to yield
I wonder how I spent those nights
Just reading those texts over and over again when all they said was ‘It’s over’
My heart never sank to the bottom like it did at the first time
The intensity decreased with nights and it turned out to be a habit
Eyes were less sleepy, more dry with least hope
It was a decision to leave than to hold on
Love defined itself making me fall into hate
Now it’s easier to walk past some non-existing human

If you can’t define hate, certainly love never defined itself to you!

Nights with you😍

Since the very first day we’ve been knowing each other, we would talk all day and the conversation would last a little lesser than the complete night.

I remember how we would wish a good morning at 4 and would sleep in peace then.

It wasn’t the first time I would stay awake. The last four months were terrible. I’ve had a breakup and would lay sleepless for hours drenching my pillow with my own tears. But then I met you and the stars fell perfect… So perfect that the perfection seemed less beneath our love.

It’s the moonlight that drenches the soul at midnight

Sooner you started sleeping early leaving me with no conversation and I would never had a problem with that. Why would I? Afterall, I tried understanding you. But I would still fall asleep smiling for no reason remembering those days when we would get into this relationship and you would love me. 

No lesser in time you forgot to text me a good night even and I would spend nights writing long paragraphs for you and would wait for a smile on your face and a thank you notice but there were none. A reaction of dissatisfaction and ignorance would lay all over your face.

You then told me you’ve had a flight the following week and I would spend nights wondering if you would miss me in the other country or would that be me still? There were no hopes, no more smiles and probably no more notes for you. By then I got to understand you even better and had realised that whatever​ I do is so discouraged by you.

The next morning you’ve had a flight and I decided not to sleep. Waking up each night was never this difficult as long as it was needed. I would count out on the clock and would wait for it to say 3:00 am because you had mentioned you would be waking up that early. I had called you nearly 30 times and all those calls went unattended. It was an hour by then and I was focused to say a good bye to you. You then texted me that you’ve left and there are people with you and that too we can’t talk for the time you are out.

I never wished loosing any opportunity to tell you that I loved you but it never reached you. My fault!

Even last night I didn’t sleep and I was wondering if it would be same with you for me the I’ve had for you when you were going?

And the answer was a ‘no’!

Imperfection is a boon

No one is perfect since perfection is a myth as I say. But the irony is people seem to believe the myths more than reality. Here imperfection plays it’s role. It’s real and it helps you get to the right person. Obviously everyone wants perfection and rare go for the less perfect and make it perfect. Perfect for themselves not the world actually. So now you know how it’s easy and wonderful to know that you ain’t perfect and there’s someone who cares about you knowing all of your demerits. People might long for you and die for you for the way you fake your perfection. But try being real and they would all leave and everyone would give you a wonderful reason. Whereas when you are yourself, i.e. less perfect, only few will try to turn to you and feel you. Trust me, those few people are wonderful. And for the shocking part, let me tell you that the right one might fall for your imperfections only.
So… It took about a couple of weeks for me to get back to my blog again. Actually, time isn’t what you need but an idea. Like today, my mother said “You are good at everything but you would be perfect if you were little more tall” and I immediately replied, “don’t you think a lot many wrong people would have approached me for that?

She fell silent, smiled and said— 

Imperfection is a boon for those who understand!

Difficulties

Everything isn’t that easy. It is but not that much. Similarly everything isn’t that difficult. It is but not that much. And what counts in the end is not how hard it was, but how hard you tried to achieve it.

The most easy way to tackle any problem is— run away.

Run away from the people who ain’t good, from the friends who ain’t listening to you, from a child who cries and from a relationship where your efforts are needed. It seems easy just because you don’t have to do anything but run. We all have just learnt one thing. RUN. Right?

But how about facing the poblems? I mean try to improve the humanity. Try to build up friendships. Try to make a child smile. Try to give time to your loved ones.

I’m not saying do it. I’m just asking you to try it. Can you not atleast try?

Afterall what counts in the end isn’t how difficult it was but how hard you tried.

Failures are the pillars of success only if they learn from their mistakes. The only three types of people I’ve ever met are who—

  • Try, fail and quit
  • Try, fail and continue to fail
  • Try, fail, learn and achieve

That’s life. Everything​ is difficult and everything is easy, it’s just the way you look at it. Try not to run away from problems but solve them.

Something Unexpected!

People think that being sweet to someone is what attracts them towards you. Well, it is true to some extent but ever thought of falling in love with the one who is the most rude to you. Not rude exactly but the one who isn’t sweet to you. Who never calls you. The one who doesn’t give time to you. And so many reasons that aren’t favourable. Ever thought of falling in love with someone like this?

Last night, I shared the link to my blog to some of the reader friends and one of them immediately replied—

‘Will you never text anything except this link?’

‘Did you check out the new post?’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘Fuck off dude! I’m busy right now.’

And what he said afterwards was totally unexpected. He told me that he had fallen for me and I couldn’t respond to it. Later on I told him it cannot be happening since we never met, never talked on call and I never text him even. But he was stubborn with the fact that he loves me. It was kinda weird but true. I’ve never been good to him and we used to fight mostly and I would ignore the texts to end the conversation. But this was something that made me hold on. I dig in deep and he said that he knows I would never believe it but the least I can do is to write about this on my blog. So I did.

The most beautiful feeling is falling in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time!

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