So it’s been a year to the last time in my lifetime that I ever fell in love. It was pious and beautiful.
There were tears when it ended but now all has gone. Everytime I close my eyes, I see a flashback from accidently texting someone and falling in love and getting hurt and running away to finally accepting the fact that it’s gone.
I’m fine with it. Everyone knows that I loved way too much and too hard but the lesser known fact is that only I did.
It’s gone forever and I feel blessed because finally I’m done with the feelings thing. I don’t really care if someone tries to boss me or tell me how I should behave or react. It’s my life and because I’ve destroyed it at an extreme level already, now whatever mistake I’ll make, it’ll be bearable.
I feel blessed because it’s been 5 months without using the word ‘love’ if not for him. It’s been 5 months without being in any contact with him. It’s been 5 months without letting him know about my feelings. But it’s just been lesser time since I last felt pain. Maybe it just faded or I got habitual. Now wounds don’t hurt and I’m happy.
The other reason for feeling blessed is that even if I make a mistake, I don’t regret it because I don’t repeat it.
It’s again one more time that I’m tired because of traveling and still I’m writing. The last time it happened was on the night of 3rd February 2018. I remember dates(particularly when I shouldn’t). I was making some cute love notes that night which I kept in my favourite book ‘The Promise’ and didn’t give a thought about if I should go ahead or not. I couldn’t sleep that night because I was excited and damn, it was the last meeting on 4th February 2018. How will I ever forget these dates?
I don’t know if I should end my letter with this but ‘Happy One Year Love’.