Learn to say a ‘NO’

Was it right to do?
You would have had the answer had you tried but…

See, this is what happens when you are too afraid of your parents, boss or your teachers. You get to delete all those pictures you clicked with your girlfriend or boyfriend because it’s wrong. Whoooo! Is it? Well, you think it’s wrong but do the people around you feel the same way too? Maybe they are chill with this and don’t even ask you a single question. Maybe they consider them just friends of yours and you’re worried for no reason. Actually, we all have to understand that we need to take the initiative. Atleast a try? Firstly it’s better to understand that everything we do by our own isn’t wrong. Sometimes it is, but not always. Learn from mistakes and gather from the good outcomes.

I shouldn’t say this? Well, I should because I’ve made peace with my parents and teachers regarding meetings and conversations with opposite sex.

Honestly, my mother was never a lady who’d allow me to talk to talk to guys all day long or meet them but she’s now. You think the society that fed her brain has changed? No, actually my convincing power has. I’m literally a better person when it comes to convince my parents. And you can be too. Just initiate.

While talking to your parents about friends, take some names of friends of opposite gender(even if they don’t exist). It’ll tell you about their reaction towards it and if it’s not too good(most probably) then talk too calmly like ‘SO WHAT? IT’S OK TO HAVE A GIRL OR BOY AS FRIEND. WE’RE IN 2018 AND IT’S SOOOOOOOOO NORMAL.’

It’ll be easier to do with a bit of confidence. If you’re comfortable with something, others will have to be convinced. Go ahead some other time by showing them some pictures of your friends and this time be ready with a lot more confidence than before because it’s pretty unacceptable and you’re panicking too right? You’ll be thrown into a pool of questions and you know the best thing about arguments is that you always have a side and it means that you can win. The stronger the point is, the difficult it is to be betrayed.

It’s not just about this but I’ve seen people saying a ‘YES’ to everything their parents say and I’m literally not one of them. Trust me, I’m the one to say a big ‘NO’ at that instant and reconsider things. Because acceptance at once cannot be taken back. Later on, if I’m not comfortable with something, I don’t do it. Afterall, I’m never up for regrets.

When we talk about people nowadays, they try to squeeze your thoughts the more you listen to them. Better be an ear that listens with a head that has all the already made decisions. Always give your decisions priority because if you are proven to be precise sometimes, your words will be considered but who’ll? Because you’ve always people a ‘YES SIR!’ attitude which makes them the boss in their heads. You better be one!

Lastly for all those parents who think about ‘WHAT WILL THE SOCIETY SAY?’, just tell them that the society is for a moment or two. Things happen simultaneously and they’ll soon get a better topic to discuss. Let them understand this thing that they’re also a part of society and if they don’t bother about what’s happening in the house next door, others won’t too but if they do, better start pointing them out at this. This will be a good opportunity. And ofcourse it’ll start with a ‘NO’. Learn to say a ‘NO’! (Only when you feel it.)

Basically this post is for this person 💋

P.S: this post doesn’t provoke anyone to disrespect anyone, I’ve personally done this and trust me I’ve better bonding with my parents.

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I know you’re leaving anyway!

I’d rather stand still and wait
To see if you’d turn back
Making myself think of the things I used to lack
Than to call out your name
And watch you leave
Because I know you’re leaving anyway
I don’t know if we’ll have an alumnae
You blame the circumstances forcing you into it
And I blame my heart for choosing you over every heartbeat
Night after night, I’m getting stronger
I now know nothing’s gonna happen any after
It ain’t the first time I’ve lost you once again
All that has changed is the mass of pain
Maybe I’ve made my choices
And I know they won’t be changed by circumstances
So much silence like never before
Again I find it something about you to adore
I’ve turned infinite ‘last times’ to ‘second last times’
Waiting for stability to hang on my door frame like chimes

Because I know you’re leaving anyway

I don’t know if we’ll have an alumnae

The One I hate the most

Oh I was in love! Maybe I’m still in love with him but these words no more matter. Ofcourse I played a cheater. Yes, for the first time, the girl who’d been hurt, broken and torn apart cheated her only love. I cheated onto him with this guy. He entered like a snowman in winters that I loved playing with and never realised how I couldn’t let it go when the summers came. I didn’t know how to let go of things and I kept it by my side. Not wanting to let him go, I continued to lie to my long distance soulmate and later, I was asked to choose one. Fuck! I kept playing because I couldn’t choose. Now I realise how easily this guy told him about all my cheats. I was supposed to face this. He says it wasn’t a revenge. I told him ‘ revenge would’ve hurt less’
He promised me not to disclose this secret and my world knows it.
I hurt Rohan and him and it came to me.
It wasn’t intentional. I need to grow up this time. Really. Killing those feelings before they mess up again.
No, for the first time, I ain’t searching for love in new faces. I found it and ruined it.
Was that only me? Ofcourse my partner in crime is the one I hate the most.
The bottom line is : I am a cheater and I swear this was the last time.

I Hate Love

I’ve seen mirror at midnight
With drooping dry eyes
Not a single drop falling
Waiting for the last seen to turn to online and eventually typing
Dream remained in it’s place with nothing to yield
I wonder how I spent those nights
Just reading those texts over and over again when all they said was ‘It’s over’
My heart never sank to the bottom like it did at the first time
The intensity decreased with nights and it turned out to be a habit
Eyes were less sleepy, more dry with least hope
It was a decision to leave than to hold on
Love defined itself making me fall into hate
Now it’s easier to walk past some non-existing human

If you can’t define hate, certainly love never defined itself to you!

Nights with you😍

Since the very first day we’ve been knowing each other, we would talk all day and the conversation would last a little lesser than the complete night.

I remember how we would wish a good morning at 4 and would sleep in peace then.

It wasn’t the first time I would stay awake. The last four months were terrible. I’ve had a breakup and would lay sleepless for hours drenching my pillow with my own tears. But then I met you and the stars fell perfect… So perfect that the perfection seemed less beneath our love.

It’s the moonlight that drenches the soul at midnight

Sooner you started sleeping early leaving me with no conversation and I would never had a problem with that. Why would I? Afterall, I tried understanding you. But I would still fall asleep smiling for no reason remembering those days when we would get into this relationship and you would love me. 

No lesser in time you forgot to text me a good night even and I would spend nights writing long paragraphs for you and would wait for a smile on your face and a thank you notice but there were none. A reaction of dissatisfaction and ignorance would lay all over your face.

You then told me you’ve had a flight the following week and I would spend nights wondering if you would miss me in the other country or would that be me still? There were no hopes, no more smiles and probably no more notes for you. By then I got to understand you even better and had realised that whatever​ I do is so discouraged by you.

The next morning you’ve had a flight and I decided not to sleep. Waking up each night was never this difficult as long as it was needed. I would count out on the clock and would wait for it to say 3:00 am because you had mentioned you would be waking up that early. I had called you nearly 30 times and all those calls went unattended. It was an hour by then and I was focused to say a good bye to you. You then texted me that you’ve left and there are people with you and that too we can’t talk for the time you are out.

I never wished loosing any opportunity to tell you that I loved you but it never reached you. My fault!

Even last night I didn’t sleep and I was wondering if it would be same with you for me the I’ve had for you when you were going?

And the answer was a ‘no’!

First Time

I don’t know what charm he got that made me get too attracted to such a random guy. He was looking stunning. I couldn’t resist myself staring at his way. From top to bottom, he was dressed wonderfully. I was falling for him. It was about three months back when I had sent him a request on facebook and he eventually turned out to be interested in me and asked me out the same day. We both were oblivious of our destinies. I couldn’t even dream of so much perfection that he got. We had our first kiss that day. Things are so changed now but I still remember how I was feeling that night aftrr coming back home. I was missing him for the one day we met. I was loving him. I was sure for him. I knew he’s the one. I was getting butterflies in my stomach and I was actually loving myself. God! I still remember how I couldn’t sleep all night. Yes, even after three months I remember that day though we ended. Today I’m feeling the same consciousness about myself because I met someone else. I gave him a chance. I don’t love him but I want to. And I don’t want to. I’m scared that he would cheat too. I’m afraid that he would leave too. I’m not going to fall in love this time but I don’t even kmow why the hell am I unable to sleep tonight. It’s so true— ‘You choose wisely when you bump into wrong people’.

Maybe it’s time to rethink and let not the scribbled past overtake the unwritten pages of a wonderful future.

Because you know you love it!

Few days back, I was like no school and no more outings. My scooty was all messed up by the dust and some paint which fall straight from the adjoining building. When yesterday I looked at it— I could not clean it since I had less time. Today morning, I went with a duster and a bucket of water and started cleaning it like a helper would do. For anyone else it would have been disgusting but not for me. People walked past asking me what I’m doing and I was chill to tell them I’m cleaning my vehicle. It was nothing to bother because I knew I love it.

Similarly in real life— when people love you and care for you, they don’t hide it nor do they flaunt your relationship. They just aren’t afraid of telling others that they love you, no matter what it takes. Isn’t that ironic how sometimes we tell people that we love and and eventually realise we can’t tell others because maybe they ain’t good looking or smart enough or maybe unattractive!

Sometimes all you need is a mind that’s working to tell you how to move over your heart and think. Afterall, heart isn’t always right!

Just When You​ Don’t Need Reasons to Love

Craving for love it happened,

Long ago I saw this guy

But that day he looked different

Different from the world

He might have been the same forever but noticing last time was difficult

Deep into another guy I was

I knew it’s the right time now to approach and so did I

Asked him out and he agreed

We met at the corner of the street

He opened the door for me and I sat in the passenger’s seat

So silent and more calm I felt

For the first time I was in someone else’s car,

Someone else but it felt like it belonged to me since eternity

Why would he look so great? I questioned myself when he dropped the accelerator in the restaurant’s gate,

I stared at him and he pulled me down 

Throwing the keys to the bellet, we went inside

What Would you like to have? He asked

Cold coffee with some ice-cream. I said

He laughed at my childishness and I enjoyed

We then had our coffees and went ahead

Long away we drove for hours 

Talking about nothing but sweet desires

Desires from life and desires for life

He again parked the car in a parking lot,

I looked at him and he looked back

We stared each other for long and long

His deep brown eyes said a lot but I waited for his lips to conquer

He touched my neck and I let him do,

I was feeling comfortable since it felt new

Like nothing else we were feeling each other

No words to exchange and a lot to discover

It was a casual starting of a wonderful relationship

A relationship which I wasn’t sure of would ever work

I had my eyes closed when he kissed me

It was so passionate like it was the same forever

How sometimes do you meet people for the first time and know they are going to be that long searched rain drop?

How sometimes do you fall in love with a random guy at a food shop?

Falling in love with one and falling off love with other simultaneously!

Imperfection is a boon

No one is perfect since perfection is a myth as I say. But the irony is people seem to believe the myths more than reality. Here imperfection plays it’s role. It’s real and it helps you get to the right person. Obviously everyone wants perfection and rare go for the less perfect and make it perfect. Perfect for themselves not the world actually. So now you know how it’s easy and wonderful to know that you ain’t perfect and there’s someone who cares about you knowing all of your demerits. People might long for you and die for you for the way you fake your perfection. But try being real and they would all leave and everyone would give you a wonderful reason. Whereas when you are yourself, i.e. less perfect, only few will try to turn to you and feel you. Trust me, those few people are wonderful. And for the shocking part, let me tell you that the right one might fall for your imperfections only.
So… It took about a couple of weeks for me to get back to my blog again. Actually, time isn’t what you need but an idea. Like today, my mother said “You are good at everything but you would be perfect if you were little more tall” and I immediately replied, “don’t you think a lot many wrong people would have approached me for that?

She fell silent, smiled and said— 

Imperfection is a boon for those who understand!

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